Parenting Your Catholic Teen (Part 4 of 4)

Let’s look at the final stage of growth:

Adulthood: “What can I do for you?”

Maturity means concern for others. Looking outside oneself to the needs of others, starting with God. Jesus first, others second, yourself last. That’s actually the recipe for happiness in this world, as Jesus himself taught it. What is the kingdom of God all about? Jesus says it’s the Kingdom of Right Relationships. Having a right relationship with God, and a right relationship with others. “Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself”. Love God – Jesus first. Love others – “love your neighbor”. And love yourself, too – “love your neighbor as you love yourself “. Love yourself – you must. But in the third place, very much in the third place. It’s certainly not the most important thing.

This way of living is the path to true joy – in fact, it quite literally spells joy – Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. J.O.Y.

It is this Christian adult maturity that we need to inculcate in our kids. Because what God is looking for from you as a parent is much different than what the rest of the world seeks. Other parents may care most about the letters at the end of their children’s names – M.D., M.B.A., PhD. But Catholic parents care most of all about the letters they hope come before their childrens’ names: St. Saint. For the goal of Catholic parenting is that your child become a saint. Who are the saints? The word saint is from the Greek word “hagios”, which means “the holy ones.” And what does it mean to become holy? Does it mean being weird, floating on a cloud? No. Being a holy person just means being the best version of yourself. The person you were created to be. The Bible says, “Without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 13). If we want them to get to heaven, if we ant them to see Jesus, they must become saints. And so must we.

This is the goal of our lives and the most important role of Catholic parents. It’s what you solemnly promised before God at your own wedding. Part of the wedding vow in the Catholic Church is:  “Will you accept children as a gift from God, and will you raise them according to the laws of Christ and his Church?” will you do your part to help them grow in the faith and strive for sainthood? You reiterated that promise before God at your child’s baptism. And we will answer to God for how we did that on the last day.

Most of all, I want to tell you, as parents, never to give up. Never, never give up on your kids. They are not perfect, and they will make mistakes. Sometimes that’s not a bad thing, because some of the best learning experiences come through making mistakes.

But they need to know that you love them, as persons, unconditionally. You must “love the sinner, hate the sin.” Never stop modeling a life of Catholic integrity for them. And when they get lost in the crumbling and collapsing debris of our disintegrating culture, never stop looking for them to help dig them out. We have a heavenly Father who has never given up on any of us, although we’ve given him plenty of reasons to. He never gives up on us. Like him, let’s not ever, even for a moment, give up on our kids. Let’s help them to be exactly who God has created them to be: saints.